Making A Difference

Many people think success and significance are synonymous, but there is actually a huge difference between the two.  A favorite author of mine, John C. Maxwell, wrote a great article on the difference between success and significance.  To sum it up, John says that success comes from adding value to yourself, while significance is about adding value to others.

For most people it takes a lifetime to see what truly matters.  When we're in our 20's, 30's and 40's most of us are focused on improving our own lives and becoming successful.  Then we age a little bit more and in our 50's we realize that personal success isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's easy to have every material possession you can think of and still feel empty inside.  However, when you are making a difference in the lives of other people, then you are on the road to true significance and very little else will ever satisfy you.

I have always loved the expression, "Teach a man to fish and then he can fish for himself." Imagine what would happen if the person you taught went on to teach someone else. Now your efforts have changed from simple addition to multiplication.

For me, the 'ah-ha' moment came after watching the movie "Pay It Forward" and then reading a short story about starfish on the beach.

Once upon a time (all good stories start with that phrase) there was an old man who liked to walk on the beach at daybreak.  As the man came down to the beach he noticed there were thousands of starfish that had been washed up on shore by a storm the night before.  Off in the distance he spied a young boy who periodically bent down and threw something back in the ocean.  As the boy came close, the old man asked the boy what he was doing.  The boy explained that he was throwing starfish back into the ocean so they might live. The old man said there were tens of thousands of starfish on the beach and there was really no way the boy could make a difference.  Right then, the young boy threw another starfish back into the ocean and he said, "Made a difference to that one."

I have a 3x5 card above my desk with the phrase, "Life is not about what you learn or what you know. It's all about what you DO with what you know and learn."  

Doing the RIGHT Thing

Internationally known psychologist Dr. Daniel Goleman, PhD wrote a book in 1995 titled "Emotional Intelligence" and his point was that recognizing your own emotions and the emotions of other people and responding appropriately was more than twice as important as raw intelligence alone, as a predictor of success and leadership in the workplace.  In other words, when it comes to achieving happiness and success, it doesn't matter how much you know but how well you can get along with the other people at work.

Since then, the concepts of Ethical Intelligence and Social Intelligence have evolved from emotional intelligence to say that it's not enough to just understand emotions but to take the right action based on those emotions.

Integrity: Where your actions match your beliefs.  When someone says that they believe one thing and do another, they lack integrity.  Having and displaying integrity is a prime component of character.

Socrates and Aristotle

Morals and Ethics 
The two words are actually interchangeable because they both refer to the same thing. Morals define a person's standards of behavior concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do. Ethics refers to the moral principles that guide an individual's or group's behavior and can be distilled down to a single word: reciprocity or "How would I like to be treated?". It sounds almost like the Golden Rule, except we say "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them."

Interestingly enough, all the major religions of the world are based on 5 simple principles outlined in Aristotle's "Nichomachean Ethics" written in 350BC. These principles were first written out by Aristotle as an answer to Socrates' question of "How should a man live?" and were adopted by the Church around 1000AD.

1. Do No Harm, and its two corollaries, Prevent Harm and Minimize Unavoidable Harm.
2. Make Things Better,  For others and ourselves.
3. Respect Others,  By protecting confidentiality, telling the truth and keeping your promises.
4. Be Fair,  In allocating resources, disciplining others, rectifying injustice.
5. Be Loving,  Not romance but an ideal for kindness, care and compassion.